


Better Things Ahead

by italianice15



Category: Avengers
Genre: Language, M/M, Mental Instability, Mentions of Suicide, Sexual Content, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-20 01:33:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11910456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/italianice15/pseuds/italianice15
Summary: Tony's been dealing with his PTSD all by himself and managing just fine, if he does say so himself. That is, until Bucky shows up and completely trashes his recovery. Sort of.





	1. Dark And Sunny Places

**Author's Note:**

> If you are sensitive to implied attempted suicide, mental/emotional instability, or anything of the like, please do not continue. 
> 
> I hope you like the story!

Tony laid wide awake in bed. This wasn't an unusual phenomenon, far from it. He'd been kicked out of the lab by, both, JARVIS and Natasha after he and Bruce had gone on a week long lab binge. She dragged them to the kitchen, force-fed them a reasonably sized dinner, corralled them to their respective floors and made sure they showered, then sent them to bed like a scolding mother. 

" You'll die in that lab one day and no one will find you."

She meant it purely as a joke, Tony knew, but the words stuck. Even Bruce, as sensitive to words as he was, brushed it off easily. 

So, here he lay. Wide awake with faintly tear stained cheeks as the reality of Natasha's words sunk in. 

\--

The office walls were bright white and the fluorescent lights made them even more blinding. Tony sat on the well-cushioned chair and waited for the therapist.

" Hello, Mr. Stark. Nice to see you again.", she said as she entered the room.

" Wish I could say the same.", Tony stood to shake her hand, not giving the slightest effort to mask his disdain.

" You know what they say, Mr. Stark. Twenty-seventh time's the charm.", she said with a wide smile, her teeth as blindingly white as the walls.

The therapy session went as it always did. She asked questions, Tony avoided answering them, the required hour passed and he was up and out of there before she could say anything else. 

" See you next Wednesday, Mr. Stark.", he heard as he walked out onto the sidewalk. The bustling New York streets provided a sense of comfort that not many other places could. Here, he knew for damn sure that no one gave a shit about what was going on inside his head. Everyone had their own lives to lead and they'd be damned if they were going to take a second out of their busy day to listen to Tony's problems. Good old-fashioned not giving a fuck, just the way he liked it. 

\--

Tony wasn't sure what brought this particular flashback on, but it was a doozy. He sat crouched in the corner of his bathroom, his vision blurred and hazy, his blood pounding in his ears, his eyes the size of the moon, and he had a white knuckled grip on the cabinet as the nastier scenes of Afghanistan wreaked havoc on him.

" Sir, are you alright?", JARVIS sounded worried.

" Sir, I am contacting Dr. Banner. He will be with you shortly."

The elevator opened up a minute later. Bruce looked around the doorway to see Tony in his heartbreaking state. All too familiar with the protocol, Bruce waited until Tony was a bit more manageable before trying to console the wide eyed man.

" Tony? Tony, look at me.", Bruce's voice was quiet and soothing. Tony's breathing slowed, but his handle on the cabinet refused to loosen.

" Hey, Tony, you're alright. You're safe. You're in New York, in Stark Tower, the safest place in the world. You're fine, I promise.", Bruce continued.

" You promise?", he sounded like a child, one who'd been lost and scared and couldn't find his way home.

" Yeah, Tony. I cross my heart."

Tony let go of the cabinet, but his legs betrayed him, as he stumbled when he tried to stand. Bruce caught him, holding his best friend close. That's when Tony lost it. Not many people saw him this way. Pepper caught him once, Rhodey had become used to it, unfortunately, and Bruce had only learned how to properly care for Tony about two years ago.

Tony's body shook as sobs overtook him. Bruce held him tight, rocking the billionaire back and forth slowly.

" I-I didn't m-mean to-to hurt th-them. I'm-I-I'm s-so s-sorry...", he sobbed. Whatever he said after than was incoherent, drowned out by crying, sniffling, more crying, and the occasional hiccup.

" I know, Tony. But you made it right. You help people now. You save the world." 

Bruce's words fell in deaf ears. In total, he stayed with Tony just shy of two hours. He'd only quieted because he'd fallen asleep against Bruce's chest. He managed to carry Tony, who was much heavier than he appeared, to his bed. 

" Call me when if he needs help. Okay, J?", he asked.

" Of course, Dr. Banner.", JARVIS replied. 

Bruce hated to leave, but he knew how uncomfortable Tony was with someone watching him sleep. It played out much better to have JARVIS notify him when he woke up. In the meantime, Bruce would wait in the lab, busying himself with unfinished projects to keep his mind off Tony.

\--

Once the embarrassment of his attack began to waver, Tony went down to the communal kitchen. His eyes were still red and puffy, but it could pass as fatigue. That was, if the onlooker didn't know the difference between a flashback and fatigue like they knew the back of their own hand. Like Bucky Barnes, who sat at the table with a bowl of cereal and watched Tony silently as he moved around the kitchen aimlessly.

The two hadn't spoken much since Bucky had been allowed back into the United States. Steve and Tony had made up and were closer than ever, but Bucky and Tony were stuck in an awkward stalemate of who would approach who first. Now, however, seemed to be an acception.

" You okay, Stark?", Bucky asked. It sounded much more abrasive than he'd intended.

" What? Oh. Yeah, I'm fine. What about you, Buckaroo?", Tony played, deciding to make himself a sandwich.

Bucky bypassed the question and continued his interrogation.

" You look upset.", he observed.

" Just a bad day.", he dismissed. 

" Wanna talk about it?"

Bucky wasn't sure why he asked. Even if Tony did want to talk, which he didn't, Bucky knew, Tony wouldn't talk to him. He'd go to Bruce or Steve. 

Tony, however, felt an odd sense of inadequacy as he looked over to Bucky. How in the hell could Bucky, a prisoner of war for seventy years, mind broken and ravaged, memories fucked up to kingdom come, ask him if he wanted to talk about a sucky three month stint in Afghanistan.

" No, really, I'm fine. Just a little tired.", he faked a yawn for dramatic effect.

Truthfully, Bucky almost bought it. The only thing keeping him on Tony's case was the telltale sign of dried tears just beneath his eyes. No one with such gorgeous, dark brown eyes should have tear stains like that.

" Well...get some rest.", Bucky said, spooning some more cereal into his mouth. Tony nodded, wished Bucky goodbye, and went off to the lab again. 

\--

" You gotta talk to him, Steve.", Bucky burst into the gym.

" Him who?", Steve put his weights down in favor of talking to his best friend.

" Tony?"

" Why? What's wrong?", Steve, the mother gen that he was, was instantly concerned.

" I don't know.", he answered.

" What?", Steve gave a deadpanned expression. Bucky shifted from foot to foot, his eyes wandering.

" He was in the kitchen and he'd been crying-"

" Crying? In the kitchen?", Steve interrupted, his body tensing as he became increasingly worried about Tony.

" No, before he came to the kitchen. He had tear stains and-"

" Why would he be crying?", Steve thought out loud, much to Bucky's annoyance.

" I don't know, that's why you have to-"

" I've never seen Tony cry before."

" Stop interrupting me, ya punk. That's why you have to talk to him. You two are friends. Go and ask him what's wrong.", there was a pleading tone to Bucky's request. Steve sighed and his shoulders dropped a little.

" I can't do that, that's called prying.", he explained.

" It's not prying if there's something really wrong.", Bucky countered. 

" I'll talk to Natasha. She's good at getting information out of people.", Steve shrugged.

" Tony's even better at dodging questions. Everybody knows that.", Bucky crossed his arms, not one bit satisfied with this solution.

" You sure are worried about Tony.", Steve said after a moment, a smirk growing on his face.

" When did it become a crime to be concerned about crying people?"

" Whatever, Buck."

\--

" Sir, Ms. Romanov is requesting access to the laboratory.", JARVIS informed. 

" Tell her to go away.", Tony knew why she was here. Natasha never came up to the lab unless it was important. No doubt Bucky told her about what he saw in the kitchen.

" Tony, let me in!", he heard from the other side of the door. A moment's hesitation and Tony relented. The door opened and Natasha marched in like a tornado of condensed consternation.

" Let me guess, Bucky told you I looked a little sad?", Tony tried to play it off. An unimpressed glare was thrown his way.

" No. Bucky told Steve who told me. What's up?"

" The sky."

" Tony, I'm not in the mood for your sarcasm.", she snapped.

" Then you know where the door is.", he pointed, earning a frustrated groan.

" Are you having flashbacks again?"

It stung, but Tony hid it expertly.

" No.", he answered easily.

" Are you lying?"

" No.", he lied.

Natasha leaned over the workbench. She squinted and examined Tony's very existence. However, even her near flawless lie detection couldn't crack Tony's carefully cultivated facade.

" I'm watching you, Stark.", she said. Normally, she would then leave and spy from afar. This time, she took it upon herself to plop down beside Tony and stare at him.

" Excuse me?"

" You'll tell me. I know you will.", she promised.

" If you're going to sit there, you have to help."

As she assisted in upgrading one of the suits, she studied Tony closely. He was as talkative and energetic as always, but it could easily be a show. She knew Tony was a brilliant liar, even by her standards. In the end, she sat where she started.

\--

An anxiety attack in the middle of the mission was never a good thing, for Tony or the team. He shut off his end of the coms and turned off his tracker. 

The suit fell away around his feet as something like claustrophobia enveloped him. His breaths came quick and shallow, his blood felt frozen in his veins, and his chest became tight, pounding like a drum. He thought he was alone, but leave it to Bucky Barnes to track him down in the middle of a demolished village somewhere in the middle of the Amazon, or wherever the hell they were. Tony couldn't bring himself to care at the moment.

" Tony, are you okay?"

It was a stupid question. Of course, Tony wasn't okay. Bucky halted as Tony paced around in a circle. Unsure how to proceed, Bucky contemplated calling Bruce. Then, he remembered that Bruce was out of commission and the Hulk had taken his place for the time being. 

" Hey, Tony...uh..."

He was suddenly struck by the sight of Tony completely still and staring at him. His lips parted a bit and his hands clenching and loosening nervously.

Not far behind them, there was a drop off. Tony's gaze went from Bucky to the rocky shore below.

" Does it go away?", Tony asked in a shaky voice.

" Does what go away?", Bucky was on high alert as Tony stared somewhat longlingly to the unsteady water.

" Any of it. The dreams, the flashbacks, everything. Do you ever get over it?", he wasn't looking at Bucky anymore and appeared to be talking to himself more than anyone else.

" Tony, what are you- Tony!"

" I can't live like this. It never stops.", he peered over the edge of the drop off, inching closer and closer.

" Bucky, where are you?", Clint asked over the coms.

" I'm-we're- Tony, no!", he charged forward and yanked Tony back from the edge. In a crushing embrace, he tucked Tony's head beneath his chin.

" I'm two miles north of the crash sight. I have Tony with me.", he answered Clint, who told him the quinjet wasn't far away.

" I got you, Tony.", he murmured quietly. He felt the shorter man shaking in his arms. 

" It never stops.", his voice was broken.

" I know.", Bucky carded his fingers through Tony's messy hair.

\--

" Did you tell them?", Tony asked later that evening.

" Tell who what?", Bucky asked.

" Don't bullshit me. Did you tell the others about...earlier? Did you tell anyone?", he asked again, more reluctant this time.

" Against my better judgement, no. I'm the only one who knows you tried to throw yourself off a cliff.", he snapped. Tony rolled his eyes.

" You make it sound so dramatic."

" Do I? I feel like I'm underplaying it a bit. I feel like I should have told Steve, Natasha, your two friends that I don't know that well, Bruce, Fury-"

" If you tell Fury, I'll personally drag your half frozen ass back you Wakanda.", Tony barked. Luckily, no one else was on the communal floor. Tony immediately shrunk into himself and took a step away from where Bucky sat on the couch.

" I can handle this myself. You did fine without any help.", Tony's words were shaken.

" What are you talking about?", Bucky tilted his head to the side.

" You didn't go to therapy, or take medication, or any of that other crap. You went through hell for seven decades and came out fine, more or less.", Tony began to ramble.

" Maybe I didn't have professional help, but I had Stevie and Nat by my side the whole time. Mother Hen Rogers and Mama Bear Romanov didn't leave me alone for two seconds for about six months.", Bucky explained, earning a surprised, somewhat pained look from Tony. He sat down on the couch opposite Bucky.

" Every day I talked a little bit more about what happened to me. It made them actually, physically sick sometimes, and I hated doing that to them, making them hear what happened, but it was for the best. I got that shit off my chest and Stevie got some kinda closure." 

" I didn't know that.", Tony refused to meet Bucky's eyes. Bucky leaned closer and extended his hand. Gently, he directed Tony's chin so he could see him.

" I know you don't think you had it as bad as I did, but truthfully, it takes a lotta guts to go through what you went through and to come out on top. You made up for what you did. I'll never be able to right my wrongs. You're amazing, Tony.", the last statement was as true as gospel. Nevertheless, Bucky was slightly taken aback by his own words, though he had no intention to change them.

" You think I'm-"

" Hey, guys! Who's up for movie night?", Clint burst from the elevator, followed by Steve. Bucky and Tony parted before they saw them so close together.

" Sure, whatcha wanna watch?", Bucky asked quickly. The remainder of the night consisted of awkward silence and brief glances back and forth between Tony and Bucky. Steve and Clint, completely oblivious, we're engrossed the the movie. Tony, taking a shot in the dark, reached out for Bucky's hand. The warmth of Bucky's flesh hand and the reassuring squeeze he received was more than he expected.

\--

Months passed and, though Bucky's words stuck like glue, Tony couldn't bring himself to confide in anyone. So, in an exhaustion induced, alcohol fueled fit, Tony decided a vacation was in order. That's what vacations were about, right? Getting away from the doom and gloom of everyday life and sitting in the sun for a while. 

As good of an idea as he thought it was, he didn't tell anyone where he was going and swore JARVIS to secrecy, leaving the team in a cloud of desperation for find out where he'd gone. 

" JARVIS, where's Tony?", Clint looked up at the ceiling.

" Sir has made it very clear that I am not to give away his location.", the AI replied, exasperation evident in the disembodied voice.

" Well, if he told JARVIS not to tell, that must mean he's okay, right? If someone took him, he'd want someone to know where he was.", Bucky looked at the archer. Clint shrugged and they continued to scope the tower. Steve and Natasha went to SHIELD headquarters to see if he was there, despite Bruce's reassurance that he still hated SHIELD.

Bucky entered the penthouse slowly. He'd never been to Tony's floor before. It was surprisingly neat for such a scatter-brained, seemingly disorganized person. He passed by an end table that held a picture. It was Maria Stark holding her only son. Tony couldn't have been older than eight. They smiled brightly, the beach in the background. An idea crept up into Bucky's mind, but it seemed like a long shot.

" JARVIS, does Tony have any houses by the beach?", he asked.

" Twelve, three of which are in the States.", JARVIS answered. 

Bucky thanked him, told Clint he was going out for a while, and disappeared almost a quietly as Tony had. 

\--

Tony's Malibu mansion was a home away from home. The three weeks that he'd been gone were pure bliss. No attacks and plenty of alcohol made for a very happy billionaire. That was, until Bucky showed up.

" How did you find me?", he blurted when he saw the blue eyed man approach him on the beach.

" Basic deducing.", Bucky shrugged. Tony grunted half heartedly flicked sand at Bucky's shoes.

" Don't worry, I'm defying by better judgement again and keeping quiet.", he said cheekily. Tony looked up at him for a moment and huffed.

" You're not dressed for the beach.", he observed. Bucky looked down at his clothes. A black hoodie, long blue jeans, and combat boots didn't exactly scream 'vacation at the beach'.

" I didn't pack any-"

" We'll go to the mall.", Tony stood. Bucky followed, watching a shirtless Tony head to the mansion.

\--

" You have your own private beach?", Bucky asked in awe.

" Yeah, nobody's leaving trash and shit in front of my house.", Tony said pointedly. The sand was scalding as the sun beat down on them, their towels were the only thing saving them from being fried. Tony applied sunscreen, Bucky watching the white lotion absord into olive toned skin.

" Want some? The sun ages you and I don't thing you want to look any older than you already do.", he joked, offering the bottle to Bucky. 

By the time the sun began to set, Bucky had forgotten the reason he came to Malibu. He wasn't worried about Tony's safety anymore, but sat still as Tony attempted to braid flowers into his hair.

" I've always wanted to do this.", he uttered, his concentration strong as the sea breeze.

" I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.", Bucky responded, looking out at the water.

Night came and only then did it dawn on the two men that they should head to the mansion. As Bucky stepped inside, he almost mistook it for a castle.

" Yeah, it's a bit extreme, but what isn't extreme about me?", Tony played.

" It's amazing.", Bucky said, absolutely awestruck.

" Like me?", Tony spoke before he knew what he was saying. The brief memory to their conversation so long ago was almost humiliating. It would have been if Bucky hadn't looked at him with a fond smirk and nodded.

" Yeah, just like you.", he confirmed.

The breath in Tony's lungs left him. Heat rushed up to his face and the back of his neck. Thankfully, his somewhat sunburned face hid the blush.

" Why did you come here?", Tony asked, playing with his fingers.

" Because you were gone without a word. Everyone tried to look for you. Steve and Natasha even went to SHIELD.", Bucky chuckled.

" Why would I go to SHIELD?"

" That's what Bruce said."

An awkward silence grew, then Tony saw Bucky trying to shake some sand out from between the plating of his arm.

" Need some help?", Tony offered.

" Yeah, probably."

Somewhere between Tony helping Bucky get the sand out of his arm with a toothbrush and both of them falling asleep on the couch, they'd come to an unspoken understanding that neither of them would bring up their pasts. This vacation was a time for Tony to relax and Bucky was more than happy to let him. 

Bucky woke up first, the sun shining in his eyes. Tony was curled into his chest, his arms wrapped around the genius as he slept. Long eyelashes rested against reddened cheeks, hiding the breathtaking brown eyes he'd come to adore.

Shit, Bucky didn't think he was falling so hard. Tony was Steve's friend, he couldn't jeopardize that by acting on his childish crush. For the little time that he had, he held Tony close.


	2. Sea Turtles

A worried, panicked Steve was not a happy Steve. He paced restlessly around the tower for weeks after Bucky and Tony disappeared. Sure, Tony was prone to some rare spur-of-the-moment leisure getaways sometimes, but he always said something beforehand. To add to that, Bucky wasn't allowed outside state lines. 

" Calm down, Steve. At least SHIELD hasn't found out.", Clint tried to provide some comfort. Steve huffed, rolling his deep blue eyes.

" Not yet. Bucky's due for another monthly report in two days. What are we going to say when they see he's not here?", he shot back.

" We'll say he's sick."

" He can't get sick."

" We'll tell 'em it's real bad. We'll say he's dying.", Clint attempted.

" Please, Clint, take this seriously. I don't want Bucky locked up in a cell or back in cryo.", Steve pleaded. Natasha entered the communal living room, her expression a bit strained.

" I've tried everything I can think of. I can't find them. I have no idea where they are.", she plopped down beside Clint on the couch.

The three sat silently, thinking of ways to find their teammates that hadn't already been exhausted or would have them found out by SHIELD.

" Have you tried his vacation houses?", Clint asked.

" There's been no sign of them being lived in recently. Some of his houses don't even have security systems we can hack into.", Natasha shook her head.

" Well, we'll think of something.", Clint shrugged.

\--

" -and that's why only a few of my houses have mainstream security systems. Can't have people spying on me in my own house.", Tony finished explaining how they were completely safe after Bucky began to grow somewhat paranoid.

" You're sure it's safe?"

" Absolutely, Bucky-bear.", a shining smile graced Tony's face. He, then, promptly abandoned the couch in favor of the kitchen. Though there was a vast amount of food in many variations, nothing called out to calm Tony's sudden hunger.

" You good with delivery, Bucky?", he called to his housemate.

" Sure, watcha have in mind?"

" Chinese?"

" Sounds good."

They'd grown closer, significantly closer than they had been. Tony wished they'd grow closer, romantically speaking, but that was dangerous territory. The team had just gotten back together and anything that could jeopardize that had to be pushed away. Needless to say, Tony crushing on Bucky could certainly risk the team's newly reformed bonds.

" Hey Tony, ya wanna watch a movie?", Bucky called.

It had become their new thing. Bucky would tell Tony about some classic movie he'd never seen and Tony would not test until Bucky had seen it and fully understood why it was so loved. They'd seen all The Godfather movies, Alien Vs Predator, and the entire Rocky Balboa collection.

" Yeah, which one looks good?", Tony grabbed two beers from the refrigerator after calling in their order from the Chinese delivery place.

" Um...Bruce always talks about this Star Wars thing...", he took the movies from the shelf.

" Oh, yes, that's a good one. I'm surprised he hasn't shown them to you already."

He had. Many times. Bucky had seen the entire series, complete with, director's commentary, upwards of six times. He just wanted an excuse to sit next to Tony for the night.

" Yeah, I always thought it sounded interesting.", he started the movie. 

\--

They were in the middle of The Empire Strikes Back, Chinese food finished long ago, when Bucky sheepishly put his arm up across the back of the couch. Tony noticed and glanced his way.

" Shoulder's getting numb.", Bucky explained easily, earning an understanding nod from Tony. Luckily, the clunky, hideous prosthetic that pinched at his shoulder and pulled at his muscles was a seemless excuse to make a sly move on Tony. 

The rest of the night went by quietly. Tony quoted the movies verbatim, Bucky chuckled as he did so, and they fell asleep as The Force Awakens came to an end.

\--

" Captain Rogers, Director Fury is here for Sergeant Barnes' report.", JARVIS announced as Steve excersized in the gym.

" Thanks, JARVIS.", Steve mumbled, not sure what to do or say.

" Shall I direct him away, seeing as Sergeant Barnes is currently absent?"

" No, that won't help anything. I can take care of Fury.", Steve left the gym to meet Fury in the hallway.

" Rogers, where's your friend?", Fury looked behind him.

" Well, Natasha's on her own floor, Bruce's in the lab, Clint's in the air ducts-"

" The frozen one. The one deemed a threat to our national safety. The one due for his monthly report.", Fury clarified with a venomous edge to his tone.

" Oh, uh, he's..."

" At the store. Getting milk and socks.", Clint dropped from the ceiling. Fury let out a slow, long suffering exhale.

" Unsupervised?"

" Nope, Tony's with him.", Clint answered smoothly. Steve tensed as the archer continued to talk. Fury turned his undivided attention to Clint.

" Tony took Bucky to the store? The same Tony and Bucky that hate each other and almost killed each other?"

" It was a bad time for all of us. Small bump in the road. We're all friends again.", Clint smiled smugly.

" Then I guess I'll have to wait for them to get back. It would be a shame if you were lying. Then you'd all be guilty of assisting a fugitive.", Fury teased coldly and crossed his arms.

" He's not a fugitive.", Steve corrected sharply, his brow knit tight.

" Relax, Rogers. Look, I don't really want to be here anyway. Has he caused any trouble since his last report?", he rolled his eye.

" No.", Steve said sternly.

" That's all I wanted to know. I'll leave him to his milk and socks and you can unclench your ass.", Fury got in the elavator. Once he was gone, Clint shot an amused look to Steve.

" I told you it would be fine.", he winked. Steve sighed, his shoulders still tense.

" It couldn't have been that easy."

" The only person that hates talking about Bucky more than himself is Fury. He doesn't give a fresh fuck about him as long as he behaves himself, which he has been. Fury's right, Steve. Unclench your ass.", Clint was up and crawling through the vents before Steve had half a mind to reply.

\--

The ocean lapped at the shore at a tranquil rhythm. Bucky laid out on the beach, almost asleep, when something tapped against his arm. The ugly screeches from the seagulls yanked him from his subconscious. To his right, around twenty baby sea turtles made their way to the sea. Above him, seagulls flew overhead to swoop down and catch them. 

What they didn't know, however, was that Bucky happened to be endlessly infatuated with sea turtles and each and every one of them would make it to the sea if his life depended on it. 

With the help of his beach towel, he cradled all the tiny turtles and personally escorted them to the water. Once they swam away, Bucky held up a proud middle finger to the white birds landing on the sand, watching their lunch swim away.

" How are you considered a menace to society when you save baby sea turtles?", Tony walked to the shore. Bucky, not realizing he was being watched, turned sharply to Tony.

" Probably because I flip the bird at seagulls."

" Fuck seagulls.", Tony said. Bucky commensed with the unattractive water walk until he was on dry land again. Tony seemed to be staring at him with a certain amount of appreciation.

" Is there something on me?"

" Tan suits you.", Tony said bluntly. Bucky looked down at his tan lines, which were as clear as day. He'd acquired one hell of a paleness over seventy years that managed to be completely shaken from two weeks in Malibu.

" Yeah, I guess.", he shrugged. Tony then turned quickly and raced around the beach.

" Let's look for more turtles.", Tony called, wanting an excuse to hide his face in the sand so his blush wasn't so apparent.

Though they didn't find any more turtles, they did end up throwing sand at each other. It was the aftermath of some playfully pointless argument. Perhaps it wasn't throwing sand, so much as it was half heartedly tossing it at each other.

" I like you.", Bucky blurted in a moment of peace. Tony turned slowly, his face sobering a touch.

" What?"

" I'm happy we're friends. I'm really happy we're nothing but friends.", he rushed, realizing what had escaped his mouth.

" Me, too.", Tony agreed after a second. Again, they sat on the sand. Tony doodled outlines and equations with a stick while Bucky watched the water.

\--

The thunder shook the earth below and the lightning flashed blindingly for a second. The rain pelted against the mansion loudly, echoing throughout the house. Tony shook and shivered in the corner of his room, his eyes screwed shut. He rocked back and forth in short, jerky movements. 

Bucky heard what sounded like whimpering, so he decided to investigate. To his horror, he found Tony in a near fetal position on the floor. With unexpected trust, once Tony saw Bucky, he shot up into his arms, clung to his chest, and proceeded to sob to his heart's content. Bucky held him close, reassuring the broken man as he swayed side to side, lulling Tony back down to reality.

It was hours before Tony's attack subsided and he became pliant and sleepy. Bucky held Tony in his king-sized bed, his arms securely, but loosely, holding him in place. 

The night was long, but Bucky didn't mind. Tony's round, brown eyes stayed on the window, watching the rain disrupt the surface of the ocean. Bucky absentmindedly rubbed circles against Tony's back, his own eyes on Tony. 

Had the circumstances been better, Bucky would say that this is what he wanted. He just didn't like that the first time he'd held Tony so close while he was awake was when his memories came to tear him a new one. 

\--

" This is ridiculous. It's been a whole month with no word. Are they dead, did they die?", Clint asked.

" I doubt it. They're both pretty scrappy.", Natasha shook her head.

" Where could they be? Tony's probably at some place fancy and off the grid, but Bucky could literally be anywhere. Bucky could have been here the whole time.", Clint looked around the kitchen.

" You think they're together?", Bruce suggested.

" Tony and Bucky are together?"

" Not like that. In the same place.", Natasha reiterated.

" I thought they didn't like each other. Why would they spend an entire month together?"

" I don't know, but it makes sense. We can't find either of them and we were looking for Tony when Bucky went off. Maybe he found him.", Bruce continued.

" I don't know. I say leave them be. They'll come back when they're hungry enough.", Natasha put her hands up in mock surrender. Bruce and Clint nodded, agreeing that this wild goose chase had quickly grown old.

\--

A few days had passed since Tony sought refuge in Bucky's arms. He'd been a little more reserved since then. He didn't meet Bucky's gaze like he used to and he spoke faster and quieter. Despite this, Bucky was still falling head over heels for Tony. He decided that he should finally make the first move. 

" Hey, Tony. There's this place not too far away and it's supposed to be really good. I heard about it on tv and they're supposed to have the best burgers.", Bucky suggested, his heart racing. 

The internal struggle going on inside Tony's head was nauseating. If he said yes, the entire team would likely crumble again. Then, if he said no, he'd lose the most gorgeous man he'd ever seen. Remembering how Bucky came to the rescue that night was what ultimately made Tony's decision. 

" Sure, burgers sound great."


End file.
